Understanding the different types of Africans
There is an agreement in most parts of the world that Africa is on the rise. With economic growth rates that the rest of the world can only dream of, Africa is set to be a favorite destination of economic immigrants. Actually this is already happening. The Portuguese are said to be migrating in droves to Angola to look for work. And the Angolans are returning the favor by travelling to Portugal to… guess what? shop!
In recognition of the importance of Africa, I have decided to come up with a list of the different types of Africans you are likely to come across. Be sure to print this list out and carry it in your handbag for future reference whenever you bump into an African or if you are lucky enough to hang out with one.…
1. The super African
The super African is educated in the best universities around the world. The super African is intelligent by western and capitalistic standards and can hold their own with anyone from any part of the world. The super African is extremely confident and has achieved what most Africans can only dream of; convinced the world that they are much more than their skin color. Well almost.…think Dr.Dambisa Moyo.
2. The activist African
This type of African is hard to please. They distrust the political leadership in Africa so much that they have made it their life’s calling to keep it in
check. They are deluded enough to believe that the west's idea of democracy can work in Africa. You will be best advised to stay away from this African lest you be deported by the powers that be.
On second thought, you have no reason to worry. This type of African is a dying breed.
3. The middle class African
The middle class African is not a myth. You recognize them by their obsession with moving ahead. They have made it either because of or in spite of the politics. They are protective of the political leadership and are wary of anything or anyone who might change the status quo. Among the middle class African’s favorite words are sovereign state, neo colonialism and China. The middle class want peace. Peace at any cost. Their defining characteristic? They hate the activist African and despise the hustler African …
4. The hustler African
This group is just trying to survive and just like the middle class want to get rich. Unlike the middle class, they have a love-hate relationship with politics. Sometimes they believe that politicians can change their fortunes, but mostly they hang around admiring the private jets of the politicians and wasting away…think the huge number of jobless young people in Africa.
5. The industrious African
Africa is home to some of the most industrious people around the world. These Africans wake up every day and do whatever they have to do in order to survive. Unlike the hustlers, they know for a fact that they cannot rely on politicians. They also know that no amount of hard work will ever make them rich. Theirs is a life of survival…
6. The almost African
Being an African isn’t always a bad thing. Being African or being kind of related to Africa can be such a blessing that people’s hearts immediately fill up with warm emotions whenever they see or think of you. If you can find a super power or a wanna be superpower like China to lead, the better for you …think Barack Obama.
7. The exotic African
Despite Africa being the second largest continent, Africans are an exotic species. Looking like a ‘real African’ might be your gateway to a super model career… think the Sudanese Alek Wek and football star Mario Ballotelli
8. The connected African
The connected African has political connections. He/She knows who to call, who to talk to, who to publicly praise, who to publicly criticize. Of all the Africans, you might come across; the connected African is the most valuable. If you are looking to make money and play in the bigger leagues, this is the African whose coat, you must never let go. If you don’t take my word on this one, you will die a poor man.
9. The sage African
There are those Africans who manage to make the rest of the world admire them. Normally, they do this through an act so selfless that even the most hateful person has to kind of acknowledge them…think Nelson Mandela
10.The exclusive African
This might surprise you but the word ‚exclusive’ was invented in Africa. From exclusive schools, exclusive neighborhoods, exclusive cars, the exclusive African breathes the word 'exclusive'. He is very closely related to the connected African. What sets him apart is that he badly wants approval from the rest of the world. He/She wants to be respected, for his exclusiveness and not be bundled together with the poor masses.
You are best advised not to mention the word poverty in
your dealings with this type.
11. And finally the African we all love to hate…the poster African
You have probably seen this African on TV or on brochures of charity organizations.Whenever you think of Africa, it is the poster African who flashes through your mind. You are not alone. The poster African is the most famous of the lot. Despite this, his existence is shrouded in mystery and controversy. Some people believe that all Africans are like him while many others especially the middle class Africans believe that he is a creation of NGOs and the western media to give Africa a bad name. Whether he exists or not, the poster African almost always make you sigh in frustration…
And one more thing...Keep.This.To.Yourself.